Help Me!

[Ayyyla]

I didn't mind opening the window though I have cold urticaria. I didn't mind rearranging the whole room. I was amused by the late night phone calls from her 14 year old daughter that ended with loud voices and handset slams.

But this fucking snoring? OMFG, my inlaws have been demoted to amature status. Even with a blanket for a pillow and a pillow over my head, I'm wide awake at 5am.

Wahhhhhhhh. She sounds like a fucking wookie. I've never heard anything like it in my life. Help me!!! Anyone have an extra room I can sleep in? Please?

[PJ]

eheheh...go take a shower....that what i did when we i have to sleep in the same room as my dad

[penguin]

during the many deer camps ive spent with my dads side of the family, ive found that theres nothing louder than 4 uncles and a grandfather in unison.. its like music if your turned on by that kind of thing.. when in doubt... slice the throat open

[DenKirson]

Hokay, what you'll need ar some clothespins. No, those old wooden ones, it'll only work if its classic and comical. Now, plug the nose! Do it! Plug before the reverberations of the snores collapse your eardrums with sympathetic vibrations!

[Ayyyla]

There's nothing sympathetic about these vibrations. NOTHING! Heh.

I could try to take a nap now...she's not here. But I bet she'll come soon and then make a bunch of noise, like it will be time to take her pills (I've counted 20 bottles on her dresser and she opens them one at a time, pills scraping back and forth in the plastic container over and over again two times per pill bottle).

Rarrrrr. I need to find my friends Nancy and Kelly to see if they have single rooms again this year. Maybe I can crash in one at night. I don't feel like moving all my stuff to another room particularly but I definitely wouldn't be opposed to falling into a quieter bed.

Hell I think the lobby would be a better place to sleep.

[Archangelus]

She sounds like a fucking wookie.

Thanks. I needed a good 8 am chuckle......

[Ayyyla]

happy to be of service.

It's not just snoring, there are a series of different noises. The loud snore, this weird almost mewling, then this thing that sounds like a anxious Chewbacca - all of which adds up to a chorus of no sleep.

And here I am, feeling a little bad that I might have bothered HER when I got back from my freaking 5am shower because I couldn't sleep and I decided to have at it while there was still hot water. What the hell should I feel bad about? She is the REASON I'm bumping around trying to find clothes in the dark.

Of course, I guess she can't help her snoring. I could have helped the noise.

I heard about a girl who had to change dorms last semester because her roommate snored. I think this is the same woman...this is her second semester so it would fit.

Wahhhh. So tired. At least I finally got some food.

Now I have to kill time until lunch (nothing much to do until after lunch this first day).

[Archangelus]

Perhaps you should buy her those BreatheRight nasal strips or that Snore-B-Gon spray (or whatever it is).....

[Ayyyla]

You know, I thought about that. But I seriously doubt that either of those would be able to touch her massive snoring capacity.

Even SHE can't sleep in the same room with herself. She kept stirring awake from all her snoring and lack of oxygen I suppose by the sound of some of it.

My legs are cold and won't warm up.

[ruffus]

My wife snores pretty bad, I bought these construction-rated ear-pluggs.
and I havnt had a poor night's sleep yet.

of course it takes a day or two to get used having something wedged in your ears as you sleep, but its not incumbering at all. I highly reccomend it.

[Archangelus]

DOH!! Yeah, my wife used to wear earplugs when we first started living together, but since then she's gotten used to it, so she doesn't need them anymore. Good call.....

Just make sure you figure out how to wake up in the morning....earplugs aren't selective silencers.

[This_name_sucks]

Are you sure it's snoring? Maybe it's a wookie trapped inside cause she sucked it in on a previous occasion

It's quite simple to stop snoring really...tie a plastic bag round her head and relish the sweet moments as the snoring slowly comes to an exciting stop. Or alternatively rig up and electric probe that you can control with a little button, and every time she starts snoring, fry the shit outta her...not literally, although she would be kept busy for a while.

Maybe you could pad the whole house with sponges. A to block the noise and B to stop all the crashing about. And maybe you could laminate her face to her arse while you're at it.... no reason, but its sounds fun.

[Levangles]

pffffft... this one's an amateur....

at one point (a year and a half ago) i'm pretty sure i held the title for worst snorer in canada.... but, unfortunately my faily forced me to undergo throat surgery to remedy such *problems* as they called them. i am two levels above my brother, and on the opposite side of the house- and yet i still had the ability to make sure he didn't sleep a wink the entire night!

unfortunately my abilities are much dimished over the past year and a bit... i still rip up a good snore once in a while, but nothing like i used to.

suggestion: it seemed that when i drank something nice and warm before i went to bed- like warm milk or a cup of neo citrine - i snored considerably less. soup also assist in that. try to subtly give her some warm beverage before sleep and see if it helps at all

[DenKirson]

What, like drown her in the bathtub? I guess that could work. Or switch it around and instead fill the bathtub to full then just submerge your ears to block out the noise, like Daredevil!

[This_name_sucks]

Just give her uvala a nice, gentle, persuasive tug, that should do it