Two Really Lame Jokes...

[Archangelus]

....but, I'll inflict them upon you anyways....

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you."

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterward they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ... and stay for breakfast. They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

Next morning she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything has been so incredible.

"You know," he said, "You are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies, "you just happened to catch my eye."

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In a small town the bell ringer in the church quits. The sexton advertises for a replacement. The first guy who shows up has no arms.

"But ... but ..." the sexton says, "How can you? I mean ... with your handicap?"

"Just watch," says the no-armed man. They go up to the bell tower and he runs at the bell and BANG! he slams it with his face and the bell lets out a dull bong. Then he starts to do it again, and the sexton stops him.

"Not again," he says. "I can't watch. Tell me, do you really need the job this badly?" The man assures him that he does. So the sexton hires him.

Sunday comes and it's time to ring the bell to summon the faithful to church. A breeze is blowing. Just as the bell-ringer runs at the bell, the breeze blows it sideways, and he misses it and plunges to the ground, to his death. The sexton runs outside, where a crowd is gathering. A policeman arrives.

"Do you know this man?" he asks the sexton.

"No," he says, "but his face rings a bell."

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Send hate mail to.....

-Arch

[XoR]

*cricket*

*cricket*

*cricket*

[Yazule]

*lobs a rotten tomato*

[This_name_sucks]

Is that tumbleweed I see?

[ZarnKano]

I was waiting for a rimshot to be played at the end of both of those.

[Levangles]

why couldn't hellen keller drive?














because she was a woman

[Sewer_Rat]

I'd say those were the worst jokes i've ever heard but then again after listening to time to die and uk style im not sure.

[PJ]

....im speachless

but i can do this --->

[I.D.O.]

Rat needs some cheese....... hehe.... any certain type??