These Are Pretty Funny!

[Dr.Death]

The 5 winning smart-ass answers for 2004.

Smart-Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I
need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart-Ass Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart-Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.

Smart-Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of
him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."

#1 SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004
(drum roll, please)

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I
won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a
death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was
restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and
sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand."

[midnightservice]

oh my god that is priceless

[I.D.O.]

Those are good...

[1nst1nct]

hahahaha just great dude haha ohh man

[Undead_Mercenary]

Very good! That'll be a good Monday morning story for school.