Undead Mercenary Comic

[Undead_Mercenary]

I would like to let you guys in on a comic that me and Den are working on (if you've been reading Den's Xanga blog, you probably seen it coming). So basically, I've been wanting to do a story/comic/flash of a character based off my gamer tag, Undead Mercenary. Since flash is hard and takes way too long, I decided to go with either story or comic. After reading some of Den's Legion of Legion and Variant stories (which sometimes include illustrations), I decided to pitch him my idea for Undead Mercenary. He agreed, and we then worked out the details about the character. Let me explain a bit about the storyline :

It begins in a time and place similar to most fantasy realms (think Forgotten Realms). A lone mercenary, named Ungot Mercenary, romes the country-side, visiting every town he discovers to work as a sword-for-hire. Does he do it for the money? The fame? No. They are simply bonuses to his accomplishments, or as Den put it, "a boon to his cause with no destination". He has a need to use his abilities to their full potentiel, but he usually only finds meager contracts that do little to satisfy him. Anyways, without ruining too much of the plot, there will come a time where he is slain, then resurrected in the future. *insert omnious music*

Here's page 1 of the first chapter :

[PooMonkey]

Its good, but you are still gay

[DenKirson]

Only until I get to the Scantly Clad Harem Sorceress.

[Ayyyla]

.......

[DenKirson]

That's a title. Like "Flaming Prince".

[Undead_Mercenary]

Undead mad! Undead smash! Get revenge on world!

[DenKirson]

Here's some con...schrrochive... cataclysm. See that line in panel four? The one sticking out? Yeah that's totally gay.

[Ayyyla]

....

[Undead_Mercenary]

Pfft whatever. I can take any kind of commentary of anything about me, whether it's my personality or my work. I seen that you and Poo say you liked it, except for your not liking the name. That's fine, your entitled to your opinion and I respect that. But don't say something stupid like "Undead is gay". That kind of stuff is ok when your playing in-game, or when somebody posts something that isn't serious. This is serious, I wanted to hear some feedback about the comic, and all I really got was garbage.

So whatever, I won't let little miss MFA-who-gives-a-shit phase me, I will keep on writing the storyline for Den, and hopefully he'll keep on drawing it. I'll still post the pages for those interested. If you got something to post about the comic, whether it be story or drawing, good or bad, please go ahead and post. It let's us know what and what not to do. Thanks.

[PinkRabi]

well i like it

[Archangelus]

???

I can't really give any constructive criticism, outside of the panel before last confuses me. What exactly is happening there? I see in the last panel the guy is waxed, but the panel prior shows lightning bolts or something coming off the sword?

Also, UM.....I know that this is something important to you, but realize that ppl are just screwing with you like we all do all the time. Sometimes ppl will give you crap when they have no issues with it or like it, but don't just want to respond with "Cool.". Others wouldn't have posted anything if they didn't give a crap, so read between the lines sometimes.

Just a thought.......

[Geme]

i think the death scene looks a little rushed to me. Should of made it more bloody gorey.

[DenKirson]

It was rushed, it took me three days to figure out the first two panels, then I sketched, mostly, the rest of the page in one day. I intended the big guy to clash with Ungot a few times before Ungot broke the guy's sword in half (second to last panel), but instead I'm saving a good fight scene for the next few pages when Ungot faces the leader of these village-pillaging bandits.

I wanted to make something as soon as possible, just so Undead could get an idea of how I'm going to do this.

And stuff.

[Archangelus]

Hooray for stuff! I want a pirate comic! Zombie ninja pirates! YAAAARRR!!

[PooMonkey]

If you keep it on track of a Forgotten Realms type story ie. R. A. Salvatore novels it will rock.